Guest Author - Victoria

Question:
When is the proper time to have an Engagement Party? What is the etiquette on Engagement Parties, do you give gifts?If so, what types of gifts? Should you send a gift if you are not attending?

Answer:
There are two essentials to the proper timing of an engagement party - FIRST - you need to get engaged and - SECOND - both the bride-to-be and the groom-to-be must be present at the event. This may sound pretty dumb (yup, yup, yup) but quite often when a couple gets engaged the fiancé must leave town or the country for a while (or longer).

Engagement parties are NOT held without both members of the engagement being present!!! Once you have the two "basics" out of the way an engagement party really has no "timing" - other than "sooner than later." One of the reasons is that many engagement parties are actually "surprise parties for the couples friends and family" and though it is pretty tough making it a real surprise party, odds are there will be enough friends invited to have at least a partial surprise.

The bride's parents often host this party (surprise of not) and gifts are NOT given at an engagement party. This doesn't mean gifts aren't given - they just aren't given at the party; here's why - tradition has it that engagement gifts usually go to the bride only and are usually only given by family members and very, very close personal friends - these gifts are often mailed to the house or brought along on a personal one-on-one visit. With this gift-giving protocol in mind, if the very, very close friends and family came to an engagement party with gifts in hand it could or would make the other guests uneasy - ergo - NO GIFTS at an engagement party. Do YOU give a gift - figure that even a number of probable bridesmaids wouldn't be expected to give a gift - then - your relationship with the bride-to-be really needs to be very personal and very intimate - otherwise - forget it.